'Grandmother' by any other name — still a wonderful title

Photo by Brenda Cannon Henley

Steven Brown and Brendan Jones play in the surf.


Titles mean more to some folks than they do to others. Often, young professionals strive and work long hours climbing the corporate ladder to get that first fancy title on their job. Others choose to use rueful methods to snow the boss or the board in an effort to have a new title attached to their John Doe. In later years, titles often are bestowed to show honor or appreciation for a job well done.

In the course of my years of employment, I enjoyed several titles and was rightfully proud of achieving the steps required to get each one. I was an administrative secretary when I first began working, then later assistant to the pastor, financial secretary, and much later in my career, assistant to the editor and conference coordinator. I like the word, ‘writer,’ and for my first three and one half years at The Examiner, I was a staff writer and had that title placed under every byline. In my last year and a half, I was the Life Editor and loved that title, too, although I took some teasing about it from time to time.

I’ve also been called mother, sister, daughter, niece, wife, sister in law, board member, president of several associations and historian for another, and for the last dozen or so years, “MaMa,” pronounced more like MawMaw, but spelled with the two capital “M’s.” Steven, my eldest grandson, now 13, chose what I would be called when he simply started saying, “MaMa, I’m hungry.” Or, “MaMa, I’m sleepy.” Or, “Let’s go.” As the other grandchildren came along, they mimicked him and also called me MaMa. When my mother is around the children, for clarification, the clan calls her “Big MaMa” and I am referred to as “Little MaMa.” Each of these distinctions came from my grandchildren without any adult prompting or persuasion.

It has always rather amazed me at how children come up with the titles they choose to use for the adults in their lives. My good friend, Ginger Doster, in Atlanta, is called “GiGi” by her two granddaughters who heard people saying, “Ginger” when they were very small. They could not quite grasp “Ginger,” so they quickly shortened it to “GiGi” and Ginger loves her title. I have many friends who are called “Nana” by their young and others who are called “Mama” or “MawMaw.” Some still use the older term, “Granny,” but no one in my family would be caught doing that for my mother or for me.

My son’s children call my eldest daughter, DeAnna, “Nami,” and we assumed it is their version of love wrapped around a name they could not quite understand, born by an individual who gives them undivided attention and lots of old fashioned fun. They all want Nami to take them home with her, or to the park, or the store or outside to play or out to eat at a favorite spot.

Whatever word is used, the relationship is indescribable until you’ve become a grandparent. Ask any new grandmom or granddad how they felt when seeing that baby for the first time or what their expression was when the child was handed over to be held. It is one of God’s choicest gifts and one to be treasured and respected. A humorist has said that God gives us our grandchildren to reward us for not killing our kids when they were growing up in our homes.

Good grand parenting also bears some responsibility and it is sad that in this day and age families live so far apart that these family ties are not perhaps as strong as they once were. The very global nature of our existence and the scope of travel make family get-togethers rare and difficult to maintain.

My hat is off to grandparents, who for whatever reason, are rearing their grandchildren. It is not easy to begin parenting again when retirement looms on the horizon and bodies are not quite as strong as in earlier days. The costs for rearing and educating any child are ever growing and demands are placed on the elderly that are physical, financial and emotional.

Lin Yutang observed, “Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother. And, if motherhood is the world’s greatest privilege, surely grand-motherhood is among the world’s greatest delights. The role of grandmother can be a joyful experience indeed, but wise grandmothers do much more than simply play with their grandchildren or baby-sit them. Thoughtful grandmothers serve as enduring, lifelong role models. Through words and deeds, a grandmother’s influence extends beyond time and space, weaving itself as an unbroken thread through future generations. In truth, a grandmother’s impact upon her family lasts a lifetime…and beyond.”

Let us be wise stewards of all of our titles — including that of grandmother. God has honored us with this gift.

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788 or at brendacannonhenley@yahoo.com.