Learning lots from our grandchildren...

I appreciate the interaction I have with the readers of The Examiner. A kind gentleman walked up to me yesterday at the dedication of the Ben J. Rogers Regional Visitors Center and said he wanted to see the tan on my arms. I was puzzled for a minute until he said he had been reading the fish tales I had been writing and thought I surely would have a good tan from being on the water so much lately. We had a good laugh and enjoyed a few more of those hilarious fish tales that are surfacing right and left.

I also appreciate when the readers take time to share favorite writings or columns with me by way of the Internet or personal letter. Some of my very favorite ones have to do with grandchildren. I have the joy of having my eldest grandson, Steven, who is now 12 and lives in the Nashville area, visiting me for summer break. We have so much fun together and I confess I learn so much from him now. He knows far more about a computer than I do and he helps me identify current actors and singers that I’ve never heard of before until he or one of the other grandkids enlighten me. We play games for hours and hold intense discussions about all kinds of subjects that are interesting to both of us.

Children are generally kind and forgiving and can bounce back from unpleasant situations or bad experiences far better than their adult counterparts. They do not seem to be as inhibited and certainly not nearly as rude and unkind as adults can be when the pressures of life pile upon them. Children are most often eager to learn and are open and honest with all they meet. Oh, to have the minds, hearts and dispositions of our children.

Ginger Bragg Doster, who has been my close friend since third grade of school, (and believe me, that’s getting to be a long, long time now) has two precious dark haired, dark eyed granddaughters, Kylie and Korie, and she loves those girls of Dean and Elizabeth’s and is always planning special treats, trips and surprises for them. And, yes, I have seen literally hundreds of pictures of Gigi’s grandkids and been shopping for hours to find just the right souvenir or Christmas present for one or the other of them. But, hey, that’s what good girlfriends are for. I should add here that she’s certainly done the same for me.

Ginger sent me the following information this week and I loved it so much that I decided to share it with you. Remember, God gives us grandchildren so we will know that rearing our children was really worth it all.

Ginger said, “Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting.” I’m sure some of the sayings are writings my friend has collected from various authors and I have included the source when I could determine it for myself or if Ginger knew who the original author is.

Gene Perret is credited with saying, “What a bargain grandchildren are. I give them my loose change and they give me a million dollars’ worth of pleasure.” We do not know who first said, “Grandmothers are just ‘antique’ little girls.” An old Welsh proverb declares, “Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.” One little tyke told his teacher, “A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television.” Gore Vidal wrote, “Never have children, only grandchildren.” Pam Brown said, “Becoming a grandmother is a wonderful thing. One moment you’re just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric.” The same Gene Perret whom we quoted earlier, also wrote, “Grandchildren don’t stay young forever, which is really good because grandfathers have only so many horsey rides in them.”

Ogden Nash said, “When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.” I love what Marcy DeMaree said, “Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day long and now the day was complete.” One young school child said, “Grandmas never run out of hugs or your favorite cookies.”

Hannah Whithall Smith wrote, “If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it.” Mary H. Waldrip believes that “Grandchildren are God’s way of compensating us for growing old.” One old proverb I discovered teaches, “You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.”

“Grandmother-grandchild relationships are quite simple,” said one unidentified writer. “Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love.” Alex Haley, famous author of “Roots” and other works, wrote, “Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children.” Joy Hargrove wrote, “One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather.”

Teresa Bloomingdale said, “If your baby is ‘beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,’ you’re the grandma.” Bill Cosby said, “What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I’d like to say that grandparents are God’s gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate.”

Perhaps my favorite is, “Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever.” And may I add, so do the grandchildren. Mine cannot only wrap me around any finger they choose much of the time; they hold a very large part of my heart and life.

How we should thank God for our little ones and the pure joys they bring to our lives.

“Lo, children (and grandchildren) are a heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” (Psalm 127:3)

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788 or at brendacannonhenley@yahoo.com.

'Grandmother' by any other name — still a wonderful title

Photo by Brenda Cannon Henley

Steven Brown and Brendan Jones play in the surf.


Titles mean more to some folks than they do to others. Often, young professionals strive and work long hours climbing the corporate ladder to get that first fancy title on their job. Others choose to use rueful methods to snow the boss or the board in an effort to have a new title attached to their John Doe. In later years, titles often are bestowed to show honor or appreciation for a job well done.

In the course of my years of employment, I enjoyed several titles and was rightfully proud of achieving the steps required to get each one. I was an administrative secretary when I first began working, then later assistant to the pastor, financial secretary, and much later in my career, assistant to the editor and conference coordinator. I like the word, ‘writer,’ and for my first three and one half years at The Examiner, I was a staff writer and had that title placed under every byline. In my last year and a half, I was the Life Editor and loved that title, too, although I took some teasing about it from time to time.

I’ve also been called mother, sister, daughter, niece, wife, sister in law, board member, president of several associations and historian for another, and for the last dozen or so years, “MaMa,” pronounced more like MawMaw, but spelled with the two capital “M’s.” Steven, my eldest grandson, now 13, chose what I would be called when he simply started saying, “MaMa, I’m hungry.” Or, “MaMa, I’m sleepy.” Or, “Let’s go.” As the other grandchildren came along, they mimicked him and also called me MaMa. When my mother is around the children, for clarification, the clan calls her “Big MaMa” and I am referred to as “Little MaMa.” Each of these distinctions came from my grandchildren without any adult prompting or persuasion.

It has always rather amazed me at how children come up with the titles they choose to use for the adults in their lives. My good friend, Ginger Doster, in Atlanta, is called “GiGi” by her two granddaughters who heard people saying, “Ginger” when they were very small. They could not quite grasp “Ginger,” so they quickly shortened it to “GiGi” and Ginger loves her title. I have many friends who are called “Nana” by their young and others who are called “Mama” or “MawMaw.” Some still use the older term, “Granny,” but no one in my family would be caught doing that for my mother or for me.

My son’s children call my eldest daughter, DeAnna, “Nami,” and we assumed it is their version of love wrapped around a name they could not quite understand, born by an individual who gives them undivided attention and lots of old fashioned fun. They all want Nami to take them home with her, or to the park, or the store or outside to play or out to eat at a favorite spot.

Whatever word is used, the relationship is indescribable until you’ve become a grandparent. Ask any new grandmom or granddad how they felt when seeing that baby for the first time or what their expression was when the child was handed over to be held. It is one of God’s choicest gifts and one to be treasured and respected. A humorist has said that God gives us our grandchildren to reward us for not killing our kids when they were growing up in our homes.

Good grand parenting also bears some responsibility and it is sad that in this day and age families live so far apart that these family ties are not perhaps as strong as they once were. The very global nature of our existence and the scope of travel make family get-togethers rare and difficult to maintain.

My hat is off to grandparents, who for whatever reason, are rearing their grandchildren. It is not easy to begin parenting again when retirement looms on the horizon and bodies are not quite as strong as in earlier days. The costs for rearing and educating any child are ever growing and demands are placed on the elderly that are physical, financial and emotional.

Lin Yutang observed, “Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother. And, if motherhood is the world’s greatest privilege, surely grand-motherhood is among the world’s greatest delights. The role of grandmother can be a joyful experience indeed, but wise grandmothers do much more than simply play with their grandchildren or baby-sit them. Thoughtful grandmothers serve as enduring, lifelong role models. Through words and deeds, a grandmother’s influence extends beyond time and space, weaving itself as an unbroken thread through future generations. In truth, a grandmother’s impact upon her family lasts a lifetime…and beyond.”

Let us be wise stewards of all of our titles — including that of grandmother. God has honored us with this gift.

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788 or at brendacannonhenley@yahoo.com.