Writing from Amarillo, Texas...

Grandsons Steven and Brendan joined Ted and myself as we drove to Amarillo on Wednesday. We picked Brendan up at the Houston airport and began our adventure stopping in Huntsville, Texas, to spend the first night. Swam for a while in the motel pool, ate a good meal, and hit the road again on Thursday, arriving here around 6 p.m.

We are having great fun and it is wonderful to see things through the eyes of the children. Have been touring the local spots, including a trip or two down the old Route 66, which runs through Amarillo. The old shops and storefronts are interesting and harbor many vintage items from the past. Everything is so "flat" here compared to Georgia and even our area of Texas.

We are heading to the Palo Duro Canyon for our big experience there on Monday, July 7. Will post new pictures from that leg of the trip.

Today we toured a great Mexican tortilla factory, saw the workers busily making the product, and ate some wonderful food. Have also taken the boys to enroll at the local city library, which is very good in this city, and checked out books and movies and signed them up for the summer programs there. Each is sporting a brand new library card of his own. We have played the Wi game and bowling is our favorite. The boys are into a heated checker game now and we play Rummy and other board games. Both boys are very good at Scrabble and we've been shopping, too. Can everyone with teens or pre-teens say "GameStop?"

Went to a wonderful smaller church in the neighborhood on Sunday, which we all enjoyed. And, we've visited with Ted's son, daughter in law and grandchildren, David and Rebecca.

Until the next page turns,
Brenda

Fuel for the Fire June 24 - 30, 2008

June 24 – “It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in His own power.” (Acts 1:7)

June 25 – “But ye shall receive power after the Holy Ghost is come upon you, and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.” (Acts 1:8)

June 26 – “As snow in summer, and as rain in harvest, so honor is not seemly for a fool.” (Proverbs 26:1)

June 27 – “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.” (Proverbs 26:4)

June 28 – “Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? There is more hope of a fool than of him.” (Proverbs 26:12)

June 29 – “As the door turneth upon his hinges, so doth the slothful (lazy) upon his bed.” (Proverbs 26:14)

June 30 – “Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out; so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.” (Proverbs 26:20)

On the road again...making music with my friends (and having fun)

We've had fun creating a brand new blog spot for the Clarkston High School Class of 1960 where every member of the class can post their thoughts, ideas, suggestions, helpful hints and photographs — lot of photographs, old, new and in-between.

Have heard from several member of the class over the weekend and we are beginning to gear up for the planning of our 50th class graduation in 2010. The two Millies, along with Marie, and Ginger, have formulated some good ideas and we are looking forward to some input (not to mention hard work) from others in the class.

If you'd like to visit our class blog spot, it is chsclassof1960.blogspot.com. Blogging is fun and easy and oh, so helpful. Saves writing hundreds of emails to individuals when you can post one message and all can read. Classmates, please get in the habit of checking our site every few days to see what's new or who has written.

Also, we're trusting that some updated email addresses will be sent to us so that we can include everyone in the class. Check the list we sent out to see who is not on there that should be, please.

Just in case you have forgotten, here's what Ginger Bragg Doster and I looked like in 1959 at Pine Lake where we lived and hung out most of the time.

Ted and I are traveling again. On our way to Amarillo to take Steven and Brendan to visit the area and especially Palo Duro Canyon, but I have my trusty MacBook computer with me.

Until the next page turns,
Brenda

Every once in a while a real treasure falls into your hands...

It is no secret that I love old book stores and shops and that usually in every city my husband and I visit, I try to make the time to get into at least one or two. People who have a profound love for books share a kindred spirit in that they’re always willing to help point you to their favorite bookshop or to tell you about the last great book they’ve read. Many of these shops are obscure little places tucked away in busy shopping centers and off the main highways and byways of our nation.

I have friends in several cities now, such as Coyce V. Wilkinson, a kind, gentle man who owns and runs Books & More in Amarillo. He is a true book lover and always has several open behind his counter in his shop. He helped me to complete my collection of Hemingway novels and to acquire the latest in the James Patterson series. It is also no great secret that books are expensive and that any way you can find to purchase them at reduced prices is worth checking out in earnest. I’ve found estate sales, Goodwill stores, The Salvation Army stores and sometimes individual garage sales are good places to scoop up good literature. The Internet shopping services are also good ways of obtaining particular books as long as you know the title and author you want. I long ago got over being proud when it comes to book shopping, and the better the deal, the happier I find myself.

I also have friends who share their used books with me, and I likewise, return the favor. There’s always a bag of books somewhere in our home waiting to be delivered to a friend’s house or taken to one of the shops to be exchanged for new reading material.

While shopping in a little bookstore recently, I chanced to come upon a small book, “Simple Wisdom for Rich Living,” the life story of a Hattiesburg, Miss. woman, Oseola McCarty. Miss McCarty was an African-American washerwoman who lived a simple, but profound life in the old south, and left a legacy in education for which she will be long remembered by many. The first thing I noticed about the book was that it was an original printing signed copy by Miss McCarty and I found it had enjoyed several printings by Longstreet Press in Marietta, Ga. since that time. I read it in one sitting and found it to be inspiring and exciting. After reading the book, I began a one-woman campaign to verify its contents and to find out whatever I could about this amazing woman.

The more I read and discovered, the more enamored with Oseola McCarty I became. Her selfless story is a remarkable one that bears witness of what one person can do in a lifetime. The words bear mute testimony to a lifetime spent washing and ironing other people’s clothes so that the simple woman could donate $150,000 in education scholarships to The University of Southern Mississippi, a place in her hometown she had never visited, but had heard about in the news.

When Miss McCarty decided to make her gift to the university, her neighbors and those that thought they knew her well were astounded. Customers who had brought washing and ironing to her modest frame home for more than 75 years read like the social register of Hattiesburg. She has done laundry for three generations of some of the families. In the beginning days, she said she charged $1.50 to $2 for a bundle, but with inflation, the prices increased some over the years.

“When I started making real money — $10 a bundle, I commenced to save money,” said the articulate speaker. “I put it in savings at the local bank. I never would take any of it out. I just put it in consistently and it just accumulated over the years.”

Miss McCarty was born in Wayne County, Miss., on March 7, 1908 and was reared by her mother, Lucy, grandmother and aunt who moved to Hattiesburg when Oseola was very young. Even as a young child of eight, Miss McCarty worked after school helping the women of her family wash and iron. “I’ve always loved to work,” said Miss McCarty. “Good honest work keeps a mind and hands busy.” When Oseola was in the sixth grade, her childless aunt had to go into the hospital and when she was released, she needed someone to care for her. Oseola left school to take on that responsibility and never got to return to her classes.

Her grandmother died in 1944, her mother in 1964 and her aunt that she took care of in 1967. “I’ve been having it by myself since then,” said the kindly lady. In 1947 her uncle gave her the home in which she frugally lived and worked.

During the latter years of her life, bank personnel, realizing that Miss McCarty was accumulating sizable savings, advised her to put her money into CD’s, conservative mutual funds and other accounts where it would work for her, including a trust for her care should she need it. In the meantime, Miss McCarty continued to do the laundry of her customers until arthritis forced her to retire in December 1994 at the age of 86.

Paul Laughlin, assistant vice president and trust officer of the local bank, along with an attorney for whom the laundress had worked, explained to Miss McCarty what she had accumulated by using dimes and slips of paper. She divided her savings between her church, three living cousins and the University of Southern Mississippi so that other young people could obtain the education she never received. “She placed one dime on the slip of paper marked for her church, one dime each for three living cousins and six dimes for the university gift,” said Laughlin. “It was totally her idea and her choice of the distribution.”

At age 87, Miss McCarty donated $150,000 saved from her 75 years of doing laundry to the University of Southern Mississippi out of her total savings of some $280,000 and continued to live her quiet, unassuming life until word got out of her sacrificial gift. Stephanie Bullock, an 18-year-old African-American Hattiesburg High School honor graduate, became the first Oseola McCarty Scholarship recipient.

She then had offers to appear on ABC, CNN, NBC, BET and MTV, which she did with quiet aplomb. Miss McCarty was also a big read in Newsweek, The New York Times, People, Life, Ebony, Essence and Jet. Her numerous national and international awards include the Presidential Citizens Medal presented to her at the White House by President Bill Clinton, the second highest civilian honor in our nation, the Wallenberg Humanitarian Award and the famed Avicenna Medal from UNESCO. She was also featured as one of Barbara Walters’ 10 Most Fascinating People in 1995 and was the recipient of an honorary doctorate of letters from Harvard University.

The sudden fame did not change this humble, hard-working, thrifty woman. She continued to live in her modest home, tend her flowers, cook her own meals and walk everywhere she went other than in latter years when transportation was provided to her. One interviewer noted that Miss McCarty’s old, worn Bible was held together by strips of Scotch tape. The entire Book of Corinthians was taped into the worn leather cover. Miss McCarty’s death was mourned by thousands on Sept. 26, 1999 when she died of cancer of the liver. Her principles and exemplary life inspire others and leave a rich legacy that has spread far from Hattiesburg.

I have included some of the quotes from Miss McCarty’s book in The Examiner’s Fuel for the Fire in coming weeks.

Fun things to do with kids during summer months

I shared last week’s column with some of my friends to get their feedback and I was pleasantly surprised at what I learned. Adults really must work at having fun and educational things planned to do with their children and some families really are getting good at improvising.

It amazes me that the very people we love the most often get our least attention, resources and time. With rising gasoline costs and expensive airline tickets, many of our family members and friends are finding themselves staying home for the balance of the summer and making do with cost efficiency entertainment and outings. Along with the four ideas I listed last week, here are six others that might give families ideas for summer adventures and wonderful memories.

I mentioned turning off the TV for an entire evening, and even though that will strike some as a novel idea, it is a good one. It is frightening how important the television and video games have become in some families. Every room has its own TV and every child has one or more game machines to play day and night. Sitting and watching TV is entertaining, and sometimes educational, but it doesn’t foster quality together time and interaction. I know of at least five families who have planned what they term “family night” once each week when there are usually no guests or outsiders in the home. The concept is growing. Some families choose to play board games, others cook together and share the meal with each member leading the team for one night. The leader chooses the menu, helps to buy the groceries, sets the table and cooks what can be done practically.

Other families choose somewhere in the local community to go together. A friend’s family went to the local water park last week and took a planned picnic dinner to share after the kids tired of playing in the various fountains and water toys. Every member of the family went on this adventure and enjoyed themselves, including the pre-teens and teens.

Here’s an idea that all may not have the opportunity of participating in because of where you live. Two years ago I covered the story in Beaumont of an inner city group growing a simple fruit and vegetable garden on a small plot of land on a busy street. The kids decided to share the bounty with senior citizens who lived in the neighborhood. According to the sponsor of the project, the kids had such fun and the adults who received the fruit and vegetables were thrilled to be included. The kids took real pride in their work and kept the entire area free of weeds, watered and harvested as needed. I went over and took several photographs of the kids with their cucumbers, tomatoes, eggplant, onions, beans, squash and a watermelon or two.

While they worked to grow the garden, they learned a lot about life. The kids also shared team building skills, responsibility and the beauty of sharing.

If you’ve never taken the time to take your daughter or your son fishing, now is the time to do it. Purchase an inexpensive rod and reel, some bait and pack a cooler with chilled drinks and head to the nearest stream, lake, bayou or the Gulf shore to have the fun of a lifetime. It is not about the number or kind of fish you catch. It is not even about keeping the ones you catch. It is about the wonderful excitement of fishing together. It is an adventure pitting the fisherman against the fish, not to mention the crabs, eels and other unusual things you will land in the Gulf waters. Here at our house, we practice the “kiss and release” rule for most fish, but there are a few that make for good eating if you have someone willing to clean and fillet them for the table.

My husband, Ted, and I took Callie Grace, my nine-year-old granddaughter who lives in Groves, and Steven, who lives in Orlinda, Tenn. fishing in our boat on the Intracoastal Canal last Saturday. We had such fun with our picnic and cold drinks from the cooler on board. Callie wanted to catch fish, but she did not have an extreme amount of patience at first. She thought that as soon as you dropped the line in the water, a fish should bite the bait and let you catch it.

When she did catch her first fish, it was a fighting gafttop that did not want to be caught. It fought, twisted and turned all the way to the side of the boat. Callie was doing the best she could to contain her excitement, but she finally said, “PaPa Ted, hurry and take this fish off my line. He is walking all over the water.” We all had a good laugh at Callie’s description of the fish’s behavior. She was proud of her fishing skills and couldn’t wait to tell everyone at church what she’d done.

The kids will never forget the summer adventures and neither will the adults involved.

One thing that is more difficult for families to accomplish in the busy summer months is simply eating meals together. How many homes use the dining room or kitchen table to store everything from incoming mail, catalogs, hats and sports equipment, raincoats and umbrellas, flower pots to books and tapes? One family I happened to visit recently said that they had not eaten a meal together as a family sitting at the kitchen table in months. I thought that was a sad fact.

Mealtimes are good times to share the day’s activities, who’s doing what and when, things learned and dreams to reach. I fondly recall meals around my grandmother’s kitchen table when everyone took the time to catch up on each other’s lives. Big decisions were made around those pieces of wood and great investments were made in the lives of those gathered around for a meal. Take time to cook and eat together, even if it is only one meal a day.

As much as quality group family time is needed in the day and age in which we live, special one-on-one time is also needed with each person. Plan those valuable moments to share with one child at a time when at all possible. If you are having several grandchildren visit during the summer, try to plan the visits so that each child has a day or two of alone time with the grandparents. You learn secrets, fears, goals and dreams of each child and can have a very special time to store for your own memories.

Make those summer investments very carefully for good long-term results.

Beating the "I'm bored" and "What's To Do?" summer questions...

School days have been over long enough now for the kids around the house to be using the age-old “I’m bored” and “I have nothing to do” or “What can we do today?” conversations. I’ve always taught that busy kids are better kids and that boys and girls with nothing constructive to do get into more trouble than kids whose families plan fun things to do.

Same thought pattern is true with church and school environments. If teachers are prepared and have enough lined up for the kids to do to keep their interest, chances are that the classrooms on Sunday and through the week will be active, fun, learning places instead of places where bad behavior flourishes. For several years, our staff had more than 3,000 kids in our children’s church in Atlanta and we used the concept of “team-teaching,” where one adult would quickly take over from another to provide visual, musical, interactive concepts to keep the kids on their toes. What did it cost? The answer includes a lot of work and a lot of prayer, but not necessarily a lot of money. We always operated on a tight budget in the work of the church.

We demanded the top in musicians and teaching personnel. Our pianist and organist were among the very best the large church had to offer. No one, including the adults, came into that large auditorium to play. No one worked in Super Church because they simply wanted to avoid going to the regular services of the growing church. The volunteers came to work, to provide interesting teaching and a fun-filled day long to be remembered by the church kids who came to the services with their parents and the bus kids who rode in on one of the 53 bus routes all over the Atlanta area. We saw remarkable results with the lives of children being changed, which automatically saw the lives of the moms and dads become different. The child was the ticket into the home to deal with the parent who did not have an interest in spiritual matters.

The same is true in our homes, and believe me, I am writing this column from experience today. I have reared three children of my own and have some seven precious grandchildren whom I keep just as often as I can arrange to do so. And, that’s not counting my years of working in Forrest Hills Baptist Church and in a national ministry where we put our practice into teaching other church workers how to motivate and train children.

Steven, my eldest grandson is now visiting from Tennessee and Brendan will be arriving in the next few days from Georgia. Callie Grace, a local Groves resident, was here last week for three days of fishing, swimming and playing on the beach. I do admit I have a huge resource by living on the Gulf of Mexico, which provides hours of playtime with little money involved other than food and cold drinks to share. The packing of the picnic basket and cooler each day is only one of the happy chores we share before leaving for the beach.

Even if you don’t live on the beach, spending a day in its relaxing atmosphere can change not only the lives of the children in your family, but the lives of the adults as well. Everyone needs a break from the office or plant and from the work of the home. Don’t forget towels and sunscreen and come and share our fun. The biggest expense you’ll likely encounter is gas for the car and food for the stomachs. But, oh, what memories you’ll be making for a lifetime. Don’t forget to include the camera to record your adventures and a pail or bucket for all the things you’ll catch in the surf. Steven and Callie caught a collection of crabs of all sizes before they released them at the end of the day.

What are some things you can do with your kids, neighbor kids or relatives during the summer hours especially? Have you thought of gathering them around you and telling them a story? Younger children especially loved stories and older family members really do have a yearning to learn about their family history. Throw in a few photographs and a few collected artifacts and you’re set to go for a good couple of hours. Every adult has the potential to be a really good storyteller if they only practice their craft. You can also take advantage of free story times at the local libraries. Choose a visual to really cap off the time together. No cost involved here with this fun-time treat.

Plan a simple picnic. We have to eat anyway, so why not make it something special? The food choices do not have to be elaborate. Make a few sandwiches or a good salad, some cookies and plenty to drink and head out to a local park, the side of a stream. Half the fun is packing the picnic basket and cooler, spreading the colorful cloth and simply being together. If you find you’re in a really big hurry, stop by a fast food restaurant and pick up the treats to share.

Here’s an idea I caught in a television program the other morning. Plan a fun “stay-cation” for your family. With the high cost of gasoline, much of our travel will be eliminated for this summer. Rather than “vacate,” your home or lawn, plan to stay there and enjoy a special event. Decorate one room or a patio or porch with a theme, make some food to go along with the idea and gather the family for an outing without leaving home. I have in mind a summer luau on the back deck with leis for each neck, some fruit from the islands, music from our stereo and decorations I have on hand from another event. Take pictures and make a photo album together to ensure the kids don’t forget the stay-cation together.

This idea might not go over so well at first, but after you’ve tried it once, the family will likely come around to your way of thinking. Turn off the TV for one night and do something together as a family. Play a board game, a round of cards or listen to music. Choose questions from a prepared stack and let each family member or guest answer the one they pick. Play an old fashioned game of charades. Use a theme to make it more interesting. For instance, I made a group of nursery rhyme characters to use in charades and each family member and guest has to act out one or more the choices. What fun we had playing charades and no cost was involved at all since I used the backside of cards I already had.

Plan quality time to spend with your children. It is far better to build boys than to mend men. Works for girls, too.

Happy Birthday, America - We thank God for all who've given to make it free...

“When the nation was in need, he inspired them to give us hope.” – Dr. James Farmer Jr. writing of Melvin Tolson, his English professor and debate team coach

As we get a little older we realize so many different people fought for and won the freedom that so many of us take for granted every day. We think first of our military to whom we say a huge and sincere thank you for their service. The families of the men and women serving in the United States Armed Services should also be up there on the list of those we owe appreciation and gratitude. These family members give more than most will ever know and they give it every day of the year, and in many cases, forever, when their loved ones are killed in active duty or by friendly fire.

When thinking of the military contributions, we should also add the medical personnel who often fight on the front lines or near the most active of hot spots taking care of the injured and treating the wounded. These men and women who train hard and long to get the necessary medical knowledge are often overlooked as are the nurses and doctors who staff our local hospitals and emergency rooms in our towns and cities. They, too, pay a price for education and service.

We also think of the great responsibility our elected officials bear on their shoulders. With all of the unpleasant, unkind, frightening news stories we hear each day and with every public servant who messes up in life, there are hundreds of them who don’t. These men and women pay a price to serve their communities, cities, states and nation and many do it with the proper motive and in earnest sincerity. They honestly want to contribute to the good of society. Could we take time to send a note or an email to one of these public servants who is trying to help?

Our police officers and fire fighters are heroes in the lives of the citizens whom they risk their lives to help on a daily basis. Every time an officer or member of a fire fighting team puts on his uniform to go to work, he is laying his life on the line. When was the last time we said “thank you” to one of these local people?

I’ve named some of the more public figures that come to mind on this particularly American holiday, but there are also local individuals in every community who have stepped up to the plate, put forth time, energy and effort and made a lasting difference for not only themselves, but for others as well. Some particularly bright innovators are in the field of education. It is encouraging to find out about them as we go about our daily lives and to remind folks that every individual does have the opportunity and the right to be different and to make change that counts for something.

One group of young people who helped encourage freedom for all that I’ve enjoyed learning about recently was from a small Methodist college in Marshall, Texas. The debate team there in the early 1930s certainly made change an operative word as they did what no other African American group had done before them. I first heard and saw their story in the movie, “The Great Debaters,” produced and directed by Denzel Washington. The powerful movie, inspired by a true story, chronicles the journey of Professor Melvin Tolson (played wonderfully by Washington), a brilliant, but volatile, debate team coach who uses the power of words to shape a group of underdog students from small African-American Wiley College in the deep south into a historically elite debate team. A controversial figure, Professor Tolson challenged the social mores of the time and was under constant fire for his unconventional and ferocious teaching methods as well as his radical political views.

Some critics faulted the movie for its historical inaccuracies, but for the most part, the movie won rave reviews and several of the actors and actresses, including Washington, were name as outstanding in their roles.

Tolson accepted a position as instructor of English in 1924 at the small religious-based school in Marshall. While at Wiley, he taught, wrote poetry and novels, coached football and directed plays. In 1929, Tolson coached the Wiley debate teams, which established a ten-year winning streak beating the larger black schools of its day like Tuskegee, Fisk and Howard. After a visit to Texas, Langston Hughes wrote, “Melvin Tolson is the most famous Negro professor in the Southwest. Students all over that part of the world speak of him, revere him, remember him and love him.”

According to James Farmer Jr., a famed black civil rights activist who was in reality one of the debate team members, Tolson’s desire to win, to eliminate risk, meant that his debaters were actors more than spontaneous thinkers. “Tolson wrote all the speeches and the debate team memorized them. He drilled them on every gesture and every pause. Tolson was so skilled at the art of debating that he also figured out the arguments that opponents would make and wrote rebuttals for them before the actual debate,” said Farmer.

It is interesting to note that Farmer went on after his years at Wiley to become one of the “Big 6” leaders of the American civil rights movement of the 1950s and 1960s. He also founded the Committee of Racial Equality, later known as the Congress of Racial Equality (CORE). His father in the movie, Dr. James Farmer Sr., was the first African American in Texas to earn a PHD and was played brilliantly by Forest Whitaker.

In 1930, Tolson pursued a master’s degree in the Department of English and Comparative Literature at Columbia University and began to write the “Cabbages and Caviar” column for The Washington Tribune. He also helped to organize sharecroppers in South Texas and to urge the citizens to strive for equality in all walks of life.

In 1935, Tolson led the Wiley Debate Team to the national championship to defeat the University of Southern California before an audience of eleven hundred people. In the movie version, the team from the small school in Texas went on to defeat the prestigious debate team of Harvard University, but historians say that never happened. The big win was against Southern California. However, Harvard did allow the movie to be filmed partly on its campus, the first to be done there since 1979.

Other interesting anecdotes from the movie include the fact that the diploma hanging in Dr. James Farmer’s study is an authentic copy provided by the art department of Boston University.

Jurnee Smollett played the role of the first female to serve on the debate team of Wiley College convincingly. The Samantha Booke character was based on the life of Henrietta Bell Wells, who currently is 95 years old living in the Houston area. After seeing the movie for the first time, Wells said that it was accurate and insightful.

Wiley College continues to educate students today and is located in Harrison County on 63 acres of land west of Marshall between Dallas to the west and Shreveport to the east. The college is currently affiliated with the United Methodist Church. On December 19, 2007, actor Washington announced a $1 million dollar donation to Wiley College so they could re-establish their debate team.

Fuel for the Fire

June 13 – “It is not the fish we catch that counts, for they can be had for mere silver. It is the break of the waves, the joyous rush of the brook, and the contemplation of the eternal rush of the stream.” - Herbert Hoover

June 14 – “Find the journey’s end in every step.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

June 15 – “Your headiest success as a true angler begins when you start caring more about fishing than the fish.” - Arnold Gingrich

June 16 – “Why do I fish? The easiest answer is that my father and all my ancestors did it before me.” - Former President Jimmy Carter

June 17 – “Experience usually is what you get when you don’t get what you want, but if there were no such thing as optimism, there wouldn’t be any such thing as fishing.” -Michael McIntosh

June 18 – “They are able who think they are able.” - Virgil

June 19 – “The music of angling is more compelling to me than anything contrived in the greatest symphony hall.” - A. J. McClane

June 20 – “In its deepest self, fishing is the most solitary sport, for at its best it is all between you and the fish.” -Arnold Gingrich

June 21 – “Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

June 22 – “Never cut what you can untie.” - Joseph Joubert

June 23 – “These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with His brethren.” (Acts 1:14 – Five times in the first five chapters of the Book of Acts we are told the disciples of Jesus were ‘of one accord.”)

Fuel for the Fire for June 8 - 12, 2008

June 8 – “Try to put the uncommon touch on even the most common task.”

June 9 – “We may never have the opportunity to do great things in a great way, but we all have the chance to do small things in a great way.”

June 10 – “There’s truly no limit to what you can achieve if you don’t mind who gets the credit.”

June 11 – “Reach for the stars. You might not get them, but you won’t win up with a handful of mud either.”

June 12 – “To get more out of life, give more of yourself.”

Callie Grace's Big Fish

PaPa Ted and I took Callie Grace and Steven Alan fishing on the Intracoastal near our house because the Gulf winds were still blowing too high for us to go out safely in the deeper water.

They had a blast - riding in the boat and catching fish and crabs. PaPa Ted surprised everyone by catching another of those awful salt water eels. The girls were ruling with five fish caught, but the boys went ahead and ultimately won the day's contest. Steven landed five big ocean cats and Callie was the champion crab catcher of the day.

Here she caught a big ocean cat and was a little apprehensive of the fighting fish getting into the boat with us. She said, "PaPa Ted, please hurry up and take this fish off my line. He's 'walking' all over the water and I can't hold him much longer."

What fun we had and what memories we made for a lifetime...

Fuel for the Fire

For a number of years now, I've tried to put some advice in effect each day given to me by Mrs. John R. Rice of the Sword of the Lord and my dear and treasured friend. Her husband, Dr. John R. Rice, was often on the road preaching and speaking in meetings far and wide and traveled much of the world during his long and blessed career. She was a wonderful wife, mother of six girls, a tireless worker in ministry, especially to women, kept a warm and hospitable house open to all and was perhaps the best example of a true Christian I've ever met.

I had the joy of working for Dr. Rice for some 15 years in Murfreesboro, Tennessee and was pleased to be in their happy home on the Texas styled ranch in Murfreesboro on many occasions. Both of the Rices were big on having the Sword team over for games, food and fellowship, along with Dr. Fairy Shappard, Advertising Director for The Sword and long-time personal assistant to Dr. Rice, who taught me the ropes of professional Christian ministry and Dr. Viola Walden, who was a brilliant scholar and dutiful assistant to Dr. Rice for many years. Dr. and Mrs. Rice had horses for guests to ride and my children especially loved to mount Dr. Rice's favorite, General Douglas MacArthur and ride throughout the acreage.

Lloys Rice was not made of the same cloth as many of today's modern preacher's wives. She never thought she was "special" because she was Mrs. John R. Rice, nor did she desire to be treated any differently than any other women in the church or whatever group she was working with at the moment. She was revered by many, but never really seemed to know it, and was respected by all she met. One of her beautiful gifts was that she deemed each person she met as a special creation of God and found a way to determine the good in that person. I suspect when we get to Heaven, we will find that Mrs. John R. Rice has a great reward for her role in building the Kingdom of God.

Mrs. Rice said that when she got up in the morning and looked at her day and its many duties, she needed something to help get her going. She kept many books, most open to a favorite passage or quote, by her chair in the den, on her dining room table and by her bed. She made it a practice to read one thought, one Scripture verse or one quote each morning before leaving the solitude of her room. She said she needed a little "fuel for the fire" before facing the day. I've gathered up various quotes, sayings, Scriptures and thoughts that have helped me during my life journey and I share them in a personal column I write for The Examiner published in Beaumont, Texas, much as I did during my days at The Sword of the Lord. I trust they will be a blessing to you and that you will turn to the blog each day for a thought for the day.

Here is Fuel for the Fire for the last two weeks of June 2008. I've included a number of fishing quotes in honor of Father's Day. If this becomes a feature of the blog site of interest, I will continue including the quotes and bits of character-building advice, which I've learned to love and depend on over the years.

June 13 – “It is not the fish we catch that counts, for they can be had for mere silver. It is the break of the waves, the joyous rush of the brook, and the contemplation of the eternal rush of the stream.” - Herbert Hoover

June 14 – “Find the journey’s end in every step.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

June 15 – “Your headiest success as a true angler begins when you start caring more about fishing than the fish.” - Arnold Gingrich

June 16 – “Why do I fish? The easiest answer is that my father and all my ancestors did it before me.” - Former President Jimmy Carter

June 17 – “Experience usually is what you get when you don’t get what you want, but if there were no such thing as optimism, there wouldn’t be any such thing as fishing.” -Michael McIntosh

June 18 – “They are able who think they are able.” - Virgil

June 19 – “The music of angling is more compelling to me than anything contrived in the greatest symphony hall.” - A. J. McClane

June 20 – “In its deepest self, fishing is the most solitary sport, for at its best it is all between you and the fish.” -Arnold Gingrich

June 21 – “Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

June 22 – “Never cut what you can untie.” - Joseph Joubert

June 23 – “These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with His brethren.” (Acts 1:14 – Five times in the first five chapters of the Book of Acts we are told the disciples of Jesus were ‘of one accord.”)

June 24 – “It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in His own power.” (Acts 1:7)

June 25 – “But ye shall receive power after the Holy Ghost is come upon you, and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.” (Acts 1:8)

June 26 – “As snow in summer, and as rain in harvest, so honor is not seemly for a fool.” (Proverbs 26:1)

June 27 – “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.” (Proverbs 26:4)

June 28 – “Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? There is more hope of a fool than of him.” (Proverbs 26:12)

June 29 – “As the door turneth upon his hinges, so doth the slothful (lazy) upon his bed.” (Proverbs 26:14)

June 30 – “Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out; so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.” (Proverbs 26:20)

If you have a favorite quote or verse you'd like me to include, please send it to me at brendacannonhenley@yahoo.com.

Let's hear it for the stepfathers this Father's Day...

In older Bible days, it was customary for a brother of a deceased man to take on the support and care of the family he left behind. The eldest brother would first be asked if he could take on the responsibility of an additional wife and children, and if, for some reason, he could not, then the duty would pass to the next oldest and so forth until a suitable situation was reached. The widow or her children really did not have much to say about the matter. It was tradition and in some cases, the law of the land, as well as Bible teaching. The uncle would automatically become the stepfather and rear the children to adulthood. His pay was that he was fulfilling what the customs taught to be right and he inherited the land and goods, as well as the animals of his dead brother.

We see this truth carried out in the life of Ruth who has a book of the Bible named for her. It is the eighth book of the Old Testament and it tells the lovely story of how Ruth and Orpah married the sons of Naomi and Elimelech in the land of Moab. Elimelech, Mahlon and Chilion all died and left the three women widows. Naomi announced that she would return to the land of her birth, Bethlehem, and Ruth, her daughter in law, vowed to go with her.

It is from this book of the Bible that we get the romantic passages often used in weddings. “Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee; for whether thou goest, I will go. Where thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God. Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me.”

Many people assume that these words were spoken between two people getting married or pledging their love in a ceremony, but in reality, they were said by a daughter in law who sincerely loved her mother in law and vowed her undying love and allegiance. When Ruth and Naomi settled in Bethlehem, things were difficult. They had no male member of the family to care for them and there was little for them to eat. Ruth went out into the fields and worked gathering the gleanings of the wheat after the workers cut and harvested the crop.

Ruth met Boaz, a distant relative, who is referred to as a “kinsman redeemer” in the story. Ruth’s husband had no other brothers who could care for her, so Boaz stepped in as the male member of the family who would care for the lovely Ruth. The story has a happy ending and Ruth and Boaz were married and went on to live a happy and prosperous life. The couple’s names appear in the lineage of Christ.

It is much different today in the age in which we live. Our customs do not dictate that uncles marry widows, but nevertheless, we have many men who find themselves in the role of stepfather, grandfather or uncle who help to care for our boys and girls today. Many of these good men who work hard every day to make a good living for their family are treated unfairly. The boys and girls whom they parent resent their involvement in their lives. They are ungrateful for the good that these men do and for the many ways in which their lives are made better because of their involvement.

Stepfathers especially face significant challenges as they move into a situation where they are often unwanted and unappreciated. Perhaps their biggest crime is that they chose to marry the child’s mother. Psychologists tell us that within the secret places of the hearts of many boys and girls whose homes are broken up by divorce, thoughts and wishes are harbored that the original family will somehow get back together. They really would like for their lives to be as it once was and these children often forget the bad things or the hurt and pain that caused the breakup.

It takes special skills and attitudes to be a successful stepfather. In thinking about this column today three outstanding examples of very good stepfathers come to my mind. I won’t name these good men for fear of embarrassment, but it is likely that they will know who they are. I admire the fact that they have welcomed the children of the wife’s first marriage into their home and that no difference is shown between the stepchild and the natural children born of the union.

I also appreciate the fact that they have learned how to administer discipline when called for, companionship when needed most, a good example in business and professional skills and a sincere desire to see these children do well in education and in life. The homes are places of refuge for successful blended families whose children will go on to be productive, contributing members of society.

This weekend as we take time to celebrate Father’s Day with gifts, cookouts, trips to the beach or simple visits in the home, let’s be certain we take time to honor the stepfathers, uncles and grandfathers who help to make our lives happy and resourceful. They need to hear “I love you,” and “I appreciate your contributions to my life,” too.

Happy Father's Day to all my guy friends on their special day! Ladies, don't forget the important men in your life.

Faith gives us an anchor in a raging sea...

Calm in the midst of chaos,
vision to know right from wrong,
and the courage to express it.
(Hebrews 6:19)

Friday, May 23, 2008...from the beach

Hi there friends and relatives,

I've been enjoying hearing your comments about the new blog. It is fun posting news/events/articles and photos to share. Please feel free to pass the address on to your friends and relatives and to those in your email address books.

The new roof on the beach cabin is finished now and is certainly pretty up there. I had no idea the difference it would make.

The roofer gave us the paperwork and I was shocked to learn that the shingles were guaranteed for 30 years. I told Ted that it gave me a funny thought when I realized someone else would likely enjoy the balance of the good guarantee, unless we live to be really, really old. I've come to know that we must be grateful for every day of our lives and not to waste our time in worrying about the past or thinking too much about the future.

I've experienced five deaths in the past two months and because of what I learned during the aftermath of each, Ted and I spent one entire day getting all our life's paperwork in order. Living wills, power of attorneys, medical directives and regular wills all had to be completed, taken to the notary and signed in her presence. One of the last and best gifts you can give your family is to let them know what you want done in the event of your death and how your wishes are to be carried out in detail. It just simply helps eliminate needless confusion and heartache. There are excellent forms available on the Internet that can be downloaded and completed. Of course, if you are very wealthy or have lots and lots of assets, you might want to see a good attorney.

In honor of Memorial Day weekend, I am posting a writing I did concerning my father, Robert Henry Cannon, who died in WWII. I never saw my biological father and we only found out some time later after his death that he did receive a letter from home with a photograph and that he knew I had been born. May God bless every family who has made the ultimate sacrifice for America's freedom. It affects that family for the rest of each of their lives. I know that for certain.

The Dad I Never Knew

My Daddy was an army soldier
Who fought so America could be free
His giving up his life for us,
Changed everything for me.

When I was little and just learning
Love filled my life and years.
When I hit the teens head on,
There was struggle, thinking, and a few tears.

As I grew older and learned much more,
I found I missed him in the strangest places.
Wondering what he’d really look and be like
And trying to find him in all the strangers’ faces.

I wanted to determine if I was like him,
Or if he were more like me.
Did we laugh alike, smile the same,
Yearn to read and grow, whatever did he see?

My Dad wasn’t here for birthdays and graduation,
There was always just one empty seat.
He couldn’t walk me down the aisle,
Or my new husband and dear friends ever meet.

My little ones that I held so very close,
Never knew his tender touch or care.
His eyes never shone through a nursery glass,
And proudly said, "That’s her, over there!"

Choosing names like Grandpa, Papa, or Grandad,
Was never one of the many decisions they would make.
For us, it just wasn’t in God’s master plan.
And though it’s seldom voiced, there’s always a dull ache.

Reminding me of what life might have been like
Had he lived on through that fateful day of war.
But when all is said and done, in our tight family,
It only makes us all love America, our great country, more!

Although we gave what we sometimes think is far too much,
There are many others who gave the greatest of gifts, too.
So, here’s a warning -- best be careful when you are on our turf,
Of just how you treat Old Glory, our Red, White, and Blue.

For you see, it’s much more than a national symbol
Of love, acceptance, opportunity, pride, and very life.
Because of it, this child did not have an earthly father
And a young handsome husband was taken from his wife.

Many moments found him missing, and being sorely missed
Not just the night the yellow telegram came to our old farm door.
But hundreds of times when memory flecked across our heart
And made the vivid hurting pain a hard, biting, mean oozing sore.

Mostly wondering, wondering, wondering, what he would have done
How he would have acted and reacted, and where we would all be.
Would he have loved me as much as I love him, how did he look?
Are my brown eyes really his, and do I laugh and write on key?

Do my very movements and expressions bring back memories
And cause her eyes to fill ever so slowly with long unshed tears?
As she watches me in worship, in play, learning, and with the kids
And when I tell a funny story, is it his laughter my Mother always hears?

Those who knew him well say that he and I are just alike
I’m grateful, but yet I harbor a yearning to know if it’s really true.
Because, you see, having never seen him, I have no pattern
And I find myself "dreaming him up" almost out of the blue.

Oh, we’ve all gone on and lived our lives, found happiness and joy.
Raised our children, our children’s children, contributed to society.
Still, the haunting question oft rides through my mind and pricks my heart,
If he had come home from war, what would I really be?

Dedicated for Father’s Day to the memory of my dad, Robert Henry Cannon,
killed in action, July 2, 1943, United States Army, fighting for America…

…And in honor of wonderful Beaumont artist Herman Hugg who showed me for the very first time in pictures and in words where and how my Dad gave his life for he, too, was there on that hot, humid island in the summer of ‘43.

Until the next page turns,
Brenda

Monday, May 19, 2008 from the beach...

We're getting a new medium green roof put on the cabin and the workers are making a big noise up there.

Beautiful day on the Gulf. Slight breeze, warm sunshine and fluffy white clouds overhead.

Ted and I went out and surveyed all of our new growing fruit in the yard. Our 13 banana trees that we planted last year are thriving and we have a huge blossom on one with our own home-grown bananas to come shortly. We have two kinds of peaches thus far — the Belle of Georgia (in your honor, Ginger) and the Early Alberta. Both trees are doing great. I saw the first oranges today on our newest trees. And, I have flowers and plants.

There's just something healing about seeing things you've planted on your own land thrive and grow and some things do well in the Southeast Texas heat.

Perhaps you'll enjoy seeing the photos I took today.

Congratulations to Mr. George Straight (the reigning King of Country) on his 56th birthday. He celebrated it last night at the Academy of Country Music's 43rd Annual Awards with his 56th No. 1 country record. He sang "I Saw God Today," and as usual, it soared right to the top of the charts. He also performed a duet with Kenny Chesney, "Shift Work," which the audience loved. Chesney was voted Entertainer of the Year by his huge fan base.

Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley were Female and Male Artist of the Year, respectively, and did a moving tribute to Eddy Arnold who passed away last month.

Congrats to Miranda Lambert on winning Album of the Year honors for "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend." She was introduced on the show by current boyfriend, tall and handsome Blake Shelton. I've interviewed Miranda three different times on her way up the charts and she is a down-to-earth, plain and simple Texas girl. She bought her sofa from Goodwill for $50 because she liked it — My kind of girl! Her dad plays in her band and she puts on a great show.

A duo out of Atlanta, Sugarland, had 10, count 'em, 10 nominations. Song of the Year was their hit, "Stay," which they introduced last year on the ACMs. They were also the duo of the year and performed a new release to the delight of the audience.

Rascal Flatts was honored as Home Depot's Home Town Heroes and performed on the show.

A real highlight of the night was when Garth Brooks performed a medley of his greatest hits, joined by Mrs. Garth, Trisha Yearwood, a Georgia girl. He was honored with the Crystal Milestone Award and it was announced that he had sold 128 million units of music.

Reba hosted the affair for the tenth time and joined old friends, Brooks and Dunn, in their new hit, "Put A Girl In It."

Keith Urban was in attendance with lovely wife, pregnant Nicole Kidman, and looked happy and rested. He also performed on the show.

Great three hours of country music with no wild goings on.

Until the next page turns,
Brenda

Shellseeking

I made this widget at MyFlashFetish.com.

Saturday Morning, May 17, from the beach on Bolivar...

I am getting the hang of this new "blogging world," and thus far, am enjoying it immensely. So good to hear from those of you who have logged on and read my posts. I especially appreciate those of you who have commented on one story or another. The pictures are fun and help to keep us up to date.

I am notified each time there is a "comment" made on my blog, so looking forward to hearing from more of you guys.

Luke and Trish - Loved the new pics of car show and dance you sent today! Millie - Good to hear from you, too, and Nelda, as always, good to catch up! Good luck on those diets and I'm excited about your coming trip. Tell Michael Happy 50th! It won't hurt him at all.

Cloudy grey skies today over the Gulf, but pleasantly cool for this time of the year. The water is as still as can be and looks like a giant mirror off the back deck. There's about ten ships at anchor waiting to be escorted by pilot ships into the Ship Channel or on to Galveston and Houston. This is not uncommon with traffic so heavy attempting to get products and services into port. Occasionally we see a giant oil rig being towed in for repairs or additions. Lots of drilling and exploring all over Texas just now and especially in the Gulf waters.

Fishing hasn't hit hard yet, although Ted and I caught about 30 ocean cats day before yesterday.

Life is good — filled with love and laughter and a real sense of peace. Retirement is wonderful. I love not having set schedules moderating my every action and I'm learning to sleep later each day it seems.

Will be posting more of my columns in the near future.

Let me know what you're interested in reading most.

Until the page turns,
Brenda

Learning lots from our grandchildren...

I appreciate the interaction I have with the readers of The Examiner. A kind gentleman walked up to me yesterday at the dedication of the Ben J. Rogers Regional Visitors Center and said he wanted to see the tan on my arms. I was puzzled for a minute until he said he had been reading the fish tales I had been writing and thought I surely would have a good tan from being on the water so much lately. We had a good laugh and enjoyed a few more of those hilarious fish tales that are surfacing right and left.

I also appreciate when the readers take time to share favorite writings or columns with me by way of the Internet or personal letter. Some of my very favorite ones have to do with grandchildren. I have the joy of having my eldest grandson, Steven, who is now 12 and lives in the Nashville area, visiting me for summer break. We have so much fun together and I confess I learn so much from him now. He knows far more about a computer than I do and he helps me identify current actors and singers that I’ve never heard of before until he or one of the other grandkids enlighten me. We play games for hours and hold intense discussions about all kinds of subjects that are interesting to both of us.

Children are generally kind and forgiving and can bounce back from unpleasant situations or bad experiences far better than their adult counterparts. They do not seem to be as inhibited and certainly not nearly as rude and unkind as adults can be when the pressures of life pile upon them. Children are most often eager to learn and are open and honest with all they meet. Oh, to have the minds, hearts and dispositions of our children.

Ginger Bragg Doster, who has been my close friend since third grade of school, (and believe me, that’s getting to be a long, long time now) has two precious dark haired, dark eyed granddaughters, Kylie and Korie, and she loves those girls of Dean and Elizabeth’s and is always planning special treats, trips and surprises for them. And, yes, I have seen literally hundreds of pictures of Gigi’s grandkids and been shopping for hours to find just the right souvenir or Christmas present for one or the other of them. But, hey, that’s what good girlfriends are for. I should add here that she’s certainly done the same for me.

Ginger sent me the following information this week and I loved it so much that I decided to share it with you. Remember, God gives us grandchildren so we will know that rearing our children was really worth it all.

Ginger said, “Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting.” I’m sure some of the sayings are writings my friend has collected from various authors and I have included the source when I could determine it for myself or if Ginger knew who the original author is.

Gene Perret is credited with saying, “What a bargain grandchildren are. I give them my loose change and they give me a million dollars’ worth of pleasure.” We do not know who first said, “Grandmothers are just ‘antique’ little girls.” An old Welsh proverb declares, “Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.” One little tyke told his teacher, “A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television.” Gore Vidal wrote, “Never have children, only grandchildren.” Pam Brown said, “Becoming a grandmother is a wonderful thing. One moment you’re just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric.” The same Gene Perret whom we quoted earlier, also wrote, “Grandchildren don’t stay young forever, which is really good because grandfathers have only so many horsey rides in them.”

Ogden Nash said, “When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.” I love what Marcy DeMaree said, “Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day long and now the day was complete.” One young school child said, “Grandmas never run out of hugs or your favorite cookies.”

Hannah Whithall Smith wrote, “If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it.” Mary H. Waldrip believes that “Grandchildren are God’s way of compensating us for growing old.” One old proverb I discovered teaches, “You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.”

“Grandmother-grandchild relationships are quite simple,” said one unidentified writer. “Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love.” Alex Haley, famous author of “Roots” and other works, wrote, “Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children.” Joy Hargrove wrote, “One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather.”

Teresa Bloomingdale said, “If your baby is ‘beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,’ you’re the grandma.” Bill Cosby said, “What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I’d like to say that grandparents are God’s gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate.”

Perhaps my favorite is, “Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever.” And may I add, so do the grandchildren. Mine cannot only wrap me around any finger they choose much of the time; they hold a very large part of my heart and life.

How we should thank God for our little ones and the pure joys they bring to our lives.

“Lo, children (and grandchildren) are a heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” (Psalm 127:3)

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788 or at brendacannonhenley@yahoo.com.

Be reminded that hope springs eternal for believers

When my husband and I arrived in Amarillo on March 7, most of the trees were brittle and bare with nothing but brownish grey twigs sticking out in every direction. What grass is here in the High Plains was also a brownish grey color with very little life left to behold by way of the visible eye. Dried out tumbleweeds rolled across expressway lanes and bustled into fields, gathering against the ever-present fencerows.

The terrain offered precious little hope for the beginning days of spring that were to follow in a few short days. The Texas long horn cattle seemed to be constantly searching for a few blades of green grass to eat and were very dependent on their owners to put out fresh hay each day.

It is no wonder that the folks who came to west Texas to settle this rugged land had to be made from sturdy stock and able to withstand terrible onslaughts of unpredictable weather, long periods of snow and ice and winds that are unimaginable until you’ve seen and felt them first hand. I had been hearing about the northern winds that blow up out of nowhere, but I now have experienced them gusting up to 30 or 40 mph and coming without any warning at all. On a typical day in early spring in Amarillo in the heart of the High Plains of Texas, it is not uncommon to have snow, sleet, rain, gusting winds and dust storms all within a 24-hour period of time.

The standard joke is “if you don’t like the weather here in the Panhandle, stick around and it will change soon.” A good half of the newscasts each night is dedicated to weather that might change or remain the same.

We’ve been here at our home in the Panhandle for a little over four weeks this visit, and lo and behold, things have changed drastically. We were down at the city administration buildings one day last week and I took pictures of beautiful pink crab apple blossoms that seemed to light up the parks and streets. Tulips and pansies were in competition for color and hints of spring in many of the manicured flowerbeds which surrounded the city offices. Those dry, brittle trees now had little green buds and tiny leaves shooting out all over reminding onlookers that God is still in His heaven and that He is still in control. The seasons change at His instruction and the beauty that we love and admire are gifts from His hand.

These reminders of new life, rebirth and springtime were welcome intruders for us and for several families we’ve spent time with during our visit. During those bleak days between winter and spring, one friend of ours was notified that his mom was seriously ill and hospitalized with little hope of recovery. Dutch left Amarillo and drove to Plainview to be with his beloved mother. The doctors said there was little hope and transferred her to a hospice service on Friday. On Saturday morning, we received word that she had died from her many different medical conditions. The three children, now grown, started to plan her funeral service and burial.

On Sunday morning, a mutual friend, came over to our house early in the day and said, “I’m so sorry to bring this news, but Dutch’s family has had another death. His 57-year-old sister, also named Brenda, had been the chief caregiver for the 87-year-old mother.

Dutch and his sister, Patty, were on their way to her home to complete the funeral arrangements when the phone rang and the brother in law said in a broken voice, “Brenda is dead. “When I went in to wake her this morning, I found her dead in our bed.”

No one could believe the news at first. It took a while to settle in and then the reality was just terrible. Brenda left three children and several grandchildren. What was left of the family now had two funerals and burials to plan for within hours of each other. Ted and I drove to Vernon, Texas and attended the memorial service with two flower-draped caskets at the front of the funeral home.

Two days later, our phone again rang with sad news. One of Ted’s former students had died suddenly of a heart condition. His 14-year-old son had found him dead in his recliner in Venus, just outside of Fort Worth. Jon had been an outstanding student at Tascosa High School, active in several organizations and one of Ted’s two state presidents in the VICA organization (now called SkillsUSA). He had been a ranking employee in the Texas Bankers Association and presently served as the budget officer for the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals. Death came so suddenly to the promising 45-year-old father.

We drove to Plainview for this service and spent time with the family and friends who were still in a state of shock over their loss. Three funerals in just a few short days brought home again the truth that life is not promised to any of us. Jon was 45, Brenda was 57 and Dutch’s mom was 87, but not one family member was ready to give them up to the grave.

As we drove home from the memorial service in Vernon, we began to notice the first signs of spring. Buds were on trees and bushes and there was some green in the grasses and fields that we passed. We were reminded once again that God is in control and that He determines everything that happens to us. Hope springs eternal for those who put their trust in the Lord. He is able to keep them in every situation and in every sorrow and to bring a new day of life everlasting. Our friends will see their loved one again if they put their trust in Christ. He has gone to prepare a place for us, according to John 14, and we are told in Scripture that it will be a beautiful place beyond our human imagination.


“My hope is as an anchor, both sure and steadfast…” (Hebrews 6:19)

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788 or at brendacannonhenley@yahoo.com.

'Grandmother' by any other name — still a wonderful title

Photo by Brenda Cannon Henley

Steven Brown and Brendan Jones play in the surf.


Titles mean more to some folks than they do to others. Often, young professionals strive and work long hours climbing the corporate ladder to get that first fancy title on their job. Others choose to use rueful methods to snow the boss or the board in an effort to have a new title attached to their John Doe. In later years, titles often are bestowed to show honor or appreciation for a job well done.

In the course of my years of employment, I enjoyed several titles and was rightfully proud of achieving the steps required to get each one. I was an administrative secretary when I first began working, then later assistant to the pastor, financial secretary, and much later in my career, assistant to the editor and conference coordinator. I like the word, ‘writer,’ and for my first three and one half years at The Examiner, I was a staff writer and had that title placed under every byline. In my last year and a half, I was the Life Editor and loved that title, too, although I took some teasing about it from time to time.

I’ve also been called mother, sister, daughter, niece, wife, sister in law, board member, president of several associations and historian for another, and for the last dozen or so years, “MaMa,” pronounced more like MawMaw, but spelled with the two capital “M’s.” Steven, my eldest grandson, now 13, chose what I would be called when he simply started saying, “MaMa, I’m hungry.” Or, “MaMa, I’m sleepy.” Or, “Let’s go.” As the other grandchildren came along, they mimicked him and also called me MaMa. When my mother is around the children, for clarification, the clan calls her “Big MaMa” and I am referred to as “Little MaMa.” Each of these distinctions came from my grandchildren without any adult prompting or persuasion.

It has always rather amazed me at how children come up with the titles they choose to use for the adults in their lives. My good friend, Ginger Doster, in Atlanta, is called “GiGi” by her two granddaughters who heard people saying, “Ginger” when they were very small. They could not quite grasp “Ginger,” so they quickly shortened it to “GiGi” and Ginger loves her title. I have many friends who are called “Nana” by their young and others who are called “Mama” or “MawMaw.” Some still use the older term, “Granny,” but no one in my family would be caught doing that for my mother or for me.

My son’s children call my eldest daughter, DeAnna, “Nami,” and we assumed it is their version of love wrapped around a name they could not quite understand, born by an individual who gives them undivided attention and lots of old fashioned fun. They all want Nami to take them home with her, or to the park, or the store or outside to play or out to eat at a favorite spot.

Whatever word is used, the relationship is indescribable until you’ve become a grandparent. Ask any new grandmom or granddad how they felt when seeing that baby for the first time or what their expression was when the child was handed over to be held. It is one of God’s choicest gifts and one to be treasured and respected. A humorist has said that God gives us our grandchildren to reward us for not killing our kids when they were growing up in our homes.

Good grand parenting also bears some responsibility and it is sad that in this day and age families live so far apart that these family ties are not perhaps as strong as they once were. The very global nature of our existence and the scope of travel make family get-togethers rare and difficult to maintain.

My hat is off to grandparents, who for whatever reason, are rearing their grandchildren. It is not easy to begin parenting again when retirement looms on the horizon and bodies are not quite as strong as in earlier days. The costs for rearing and educating any child are ever growing and demands are placed on the elderly that are physical, financial and emotional.

Lin Yutang observed, “Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother. And, if motherhood is the world’s greatest privilege, surely grand-motherhood is among the world’s greatest delights. The role of grandmother can be a joyful experience indeed, but wise grandmothers do much more than simply play with their grandchildren or baby-sit them. Thoughtful grandmothers serve as enduring, lifelong role models. Through words and deeds, a grandmother’s influence extends beyond time and space, weaving itself as an unbroken thread through future generations. In truth, a grandmother’s impact upon her family lasts a lifetime…and beyond.”

Let us be wise stewards of all of our titles — including that of grandmother. God has honored us with this gift.

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788 or at brendacannonhenley@yahoo.com.

Einstein said, 'Out of clutter, find simplicity'

Stuff — Where do all these things come from and what am I to do with them? The older I get the more stuff I collect, and I don’t like that. I like clean and neat and orderly and everything in its place. Having recently cleaned out my personal office at The Examiner after a five-year stint in the same building when I entered semi-retirement left me bewildered and very tired.

Bringing all of the stuff home, unpacking and adding this load to the contents of my new office at the beach cabin was a huge task. I thought I had discarded everything I possibly could. I threw away things I really wanted to keep or things that I might need some day.

Do you have any idea how large a stack five years’ worth of reporter’s notebooks can make? I threw them away twice and my husband retrieved them twice. “You really might want these names and numbers,” he said, ever the thinker. “These little notebooks represent a lot of work for you.” Behind my back, he carefully placed every one of them into a large plastic tub (on the bottom) and layered other things on top so I couldn’t see them.

Friends and family generously shared their time to help with the chore and bless Ted’s heart, he had to be exhausted packing, loading, unloading and unpacking all those boxes. Every single sheet of paper I picked up had the remnants of a story or an interview I had done and I often found myself simply sitting and thinking about the outcome. A crazy note from Jennifer about a story she was doing, a thank you card from Shauna that I treasured, notes from Jerry about my first drug bust in Port Arthur, leads from Chad that turned into great stories, congratulations from friends when I had won awards, notes from Don about stories he wanted me to do, pictures of the office staff at parties and, of course, the cards, notes and pictures from my recent retirement party all had to be saved for posterity’s sake. How could I toss them in the trash?

One complete filing cabinet drawer represented the many hours I had worked on Walter Bell’s case from the time he was on Texas Death Row, to his hearing and move to Rusk State Hospital, and the subsequent communications and small gifts I had received over the years from the inmates. These things just could not be discarded. Another filing drawer held the many pieces of research, records of interviews and The Examiner articles on the subject of consensual teenage sex. (By the way, this subject has been covered in a special series last month on ABC’s 20/20 and was very interesting. Frank and Nikki Rodriquez, a couple I interviewed for my story, were on the national television series. We all are so glad that this subject is getting media attention on a national scale and trust that it will continue until legislation is changed.)

I could never replace that material or the contacts we had made and with each note came a batch of emotion quickly unfurling as I remembered the people and their stories.

We went out and bought more plastic boxes because the humidity at the beach is hard on papers and books and as I worked to organize this new part of my life, the stacks seemingly grew rather than decreased. I was feeling pretty overwhelmed, and on top of the stacks of paper and books, I had come down with a bad case of the flu, which had swept through our offices leaving many barely moving. I felt I was working in slow motion.

During the course of this unpacking, reorganizing and seeing things I had not glanced at in a long while, a very old book showed up on my desktop. A girl who worked for me in the Atlanta area, Tracey Townsend, bought it for my birthday many years ago. The book is “Simple Abundance — A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach and I have found wonderful treasures in its pages. Some years later, I was able to find and buy the sequel to this book, “Something More — Excavating Your Authentic Self,” by the same author.

In an entry entitled “An Elegant Art: Learning that Less Is More,” I found encouragement to keep only what really mattered or what could not be replaced and I learned a lot about the fact that less really is often better than more.

“Many people think that Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, one of the founders of the modern architectural movement, was the first to declare that ‘less is more,’” said Breathnach. “Surprisingly, it was the English poet Robert Browning, writing in 1855. But what applies to architecture and poetry applies equally to personal style and the art of home caring and organizing.”

“Elegance is the art of restraint,” said Breathnach. She said that famous, wealthy women known for their chic sense of style keep their looks uncluttered: comfortable, beautifully tailored suits in neutral palettes for day; simple, graceful dresses for evening; well-bred accessories that never overpower but always strike the right note. “What sets an elegant woman apart from the crowd is her quiet self-assurance; she knows that ‘she’ is what’s worth focusing on and not what she’s wearing.”

Reading further, I found sound advice in three words, “Simplify, simplify, simplify.” Get rid of things you do not use. Share them with others who would or could use them. “Spring cleaning or a move of any kind can be a perfect opportunity for seeking order within. Cleaning and organizing can be psychological, a time-out to confront the emotional clutter that has accumulated in your mental closet,” writer Abigail Trafford said. “It’s a pause for introspection — a break and correction for ordinary people in ordinarily stressful lives.”

Breathnach is quite comical in some of her approaches. She said she once started a search for the common thread in the lives of the world’s great spiritual leaders — Jesus Christ, Mohammed, the Hebrew prophets, the Catholic saints, the Shakers, the Quakers and the Amish, to look at a few. “You know what I discovered?” asked Breathnach. “None of them had junk drawers. The all embraced simplicity.” She said, “I think our lives are frittered away by lack of focus. But how can we focus our attention on what’s truly important when we’re half-crazed because we can never find anything? Find that breathing space you need. Do your best to determine a place for everything in your home and launch an extended campaign to see that each item goes in its intended space.”

I remember once when all three of my children were in different schools and I had so many notes, projects, books and meetings, I felt I as if I were meeting myself coming back, I stopped one day and bought three different brightly colored tubs, which I placed in the entry way of our home. The red, yellow and blue plastic tubs probably would not have won a “Home Beautiful” award, but they sure helped me help my children to find needed schoolbooks, reports, lunches, gym bags and occasionally a little love note from Mama. Brent’s things were in his blue tub. DeAnna chose the bright red one for her things and Nikki got the yellow one. Everything they would need for the next day was required to be in the proper tub the night before. It worked.

Reminding myself, too, that it doesn’t all have to be done today, I stopped and took a break — a few moments of just sitting, resting and reflecting.

“Let all things be done decently and in order.” (1 Corinthians 14:40)

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788 or at brendacannonhenley@yahoo.com.